A buddy and I were joking about new pricing models on the web. We quickly landed on blackmail. :) This is a fictitious press release for a fictitious company. But in an increasingly bi-polar world where we are both paranoid about our privacy yet tweet about what we ate for lunch, the what-if's are endless. Possible?
Side note: This domain is currently available. Let me know if you need our top-secret algorithm. :)
New Website To Offer Safe Surfing for Some, Unfortunate News for Others: Suspicious Web Surfing Activities No Longer a Personal Secret
Grand Rapids, Mich – April 16, 2009 – We Know What You Did Last Night™ (www.wkwydln.com) is a free service intended to limit the objectification of women and men online. Using a proprietary algorithm that’s patent- pending), WKWYDLN collects data about a person’s Internet-browsing behavior.
“It’s actually a wicked brilliant design,” said Erickson Leftelm, CTO and technology evangelist, WKWYDLN.com “We call it our passive/active system. By passively collecting data through a large network of online ad affiliates, we can effectively track traffic patterns and filter millions of page views per hour,” Leftelm said.
The information is then filtered and tagged into distinct categories. The active system constantly traverses the web, mapping what they describe as “digital thumbprints” it detects on blogs, social networking services (such as Facebook and Twitter) as well as hundreds of other well-trafficked sites.
“We spent several years perfecting this technology. The lines between public and private lives have been blurred” said George Forest, CMO and head decency analyst. He added, “by cross-referencing multiple sites, we can build a pretty complete profile of a person including a spouse, child or parent’s contact information.”
Information from the passive/active system is cross-referenced and if suspicious behavior is detected, the real power of the system kicks in. “In-house, we like to call it the ‘10AM Fire Alarm’” Leftelm added with a slight grin. “We’ve built a very robust communication system that is already connected to Facebook, Twitter, Linked In and sooner or later, Myspace.”
Using WKWYDLN’s advanced profiling system, it can notify friends, relatives and loved ones of the improprieties. “We consider this the next wave of social networking. We call it eIntervention™. Our whole mission is to let loved ones know what is going on after dark so that they can confront the offender and say ‘hey, we know what you are doing, and you should stop’” said Forest. “If we don’t stop it now, what will the world look like in 5 or 10 years? Honestly, I’m doing it for my children, and more importantly, all children.” Before researching this venture, Forest had never even heard of some of the subject matter people view in the privacy of their own homes. “I didn’t even know badunkadunk was a word, let alone what it meant. Now I reluctantly consider myself an expert, and we’re going to let the world know what you are looking at!”
We Know What You Did Last Night™ will be free-to-all, but that does not mean they don’t intend to generate revenue. “We actually have a two-pronged approach to get in the black as quickly as possible.” The first approach is through a subscription service called myBad™. “Simply put, myBad™ allows someone to pay a small yearly subscription fee to opt-out of our eIntervention™ service.” Forest said.
“Even the most innocent person can stumble upon some pretty unsavory sites. We created the myBad™ opt-out service so people can quickly login to our site, and not experience unnecessary Facebook notifications, tweets or emails to their spouse and friends. It’s all about control”. Forest thinks pricing will fall somewhere in the ten to twenty dollar range, “but honestly, in our testing, once someone receives an eIntervention™ they seem willing to pay almost anything to opt-out!” he added with a chuckle.
The second factor in reaching profitability fast is going to be accomplished through cost savings.
“The great thing about social networking is that word spreads fast. We don’t really need to advertising in traditional methods. Social media is booming, and we intend to spread the word virally, not through a huge advertising push”, Forest said. “One of the other ways we plan on staying lean is through our distribution of CPU utilization. Through our testing and research we found that most of our suspicious traffic, oddly enough, happens between the hours of 10:00pm and 2:00am”. So in effect, data collection and filtering happens during the night, while the eIntervention™ system works during the day. “Without even trying, we effectively doubled our CPU capabilities, lowering our hard costs.”
A soft launch is expected sometime in May and Leftelm expects they will be running at full capacity in June. “Early estimates are that we’ll send approximately 500,000 unique eInterventions™ a night” he added. At that rate they expect to clear $100 million in revenue within the first 8 months of operation. “This is the real deal. We’re coming out of the gates quickly” said Forest. Plans are already in the works to integrate their technology into the latest Mobile devices. “With GPS widely available in almost every new mobile phone, we see a huge market in the mobile world” added Leftelm. “Ultimately, it is about personal accountability.” Forest said before going into a meeting with potential partners.
In advertising the goal is to make memorable ads. That means either really good ads or really bad ads. You'll remember both. It's mediocre that will get you in trouble. Crispin + Porter has done a really good job of making memorable Burger King ads (I think "Whopper Freakout" was a stroke of genius). So is their new Spongebob ad "way right" or "way wrong"? Doesn't matter. You'll remember it for years to come. :)
When most people think of a brand, we often think of a large corporation (Starbucks, Target, etc.) who pumps millions of dollars into brand awareness. But most job seekers (especially recent college graduates) need to learn something very important- you have a brand identity, and you need to protect it at all costs (unless you want to be serving latte's at one of the aforementioned companies while drowning in debt).
There is a good chance that anyone under the age of 25 vaguely remembers a time when they were not socializing online. Most people have Facebook or Myspace accounts. A large number of people blog or tweet about the seemingly mundane tasks we all do every day. We post photos, respond to friends, joke, brag and generally carry on as if we live in a bubble that only our closest friends care about. But the fact of the matter is, the web is not a bubble, and if you're not careful, that totally drunk, half naked picture of you in Cancun will end up in the most unlikely hands; mine.
And why does it matter? Because *I* am most likely hiring *you*.
In a world where privacy rights are vehemently protected and protested, you may have fallen victim to the largest interview flaw in your life. I read your Facebook profile.
Not only that, I know exactly what you thought of me and how you thought the interview went. I know if you have other job opportunities, how much time you have before you have to sleep on a friends sofa, and, by following your social networking activities, I can make my own judgment on whether you are reliable, hard-working, trustworthy, etc. I've done my homework. Well, actually, you did my homework. I read your tweets. I went to your half-finished website (maybe it was a class project?) and visited all of your links. And I did it all in ten minutes.
Your brand identity is looking pretty bad right now, and you don't have any pro-active PR to make me think you are perfect candidate for the job.
What I see is that one of your favorite websites is Adbusters.org where I get smacked with the proclamation:
"We are a global network of culture jammers and creatives working to change the way information flows, the way corporations wield power, and the way meaning is produced in our society".Whether you like it or not, your brand now reads: "anti-capitalist rabble-rouser bent on changing the way you run business".
My recommendations?
1. If you are actively looking for a job right now, the damage may already be done. Google does a great job indexing the web, and your life. Type your name into Google and see what comes up. Anything incriminating? Well you're probably too late (I can always check cached pages).
2. Be sure to lock down your Facebook account. Make sure the public can see as little as possible and take down the profile picture of you and the beer bong. Myspace? Delete your account, isn't that for children? :)
3. Make sure your tweets are appropriate. You may want to keep your posts to what you're eating or watching. Don't carry out your life drama online (until you get the job).
4. If you have a website, make sure your contents and links are vanilla at best. You don't want to ace an interview only to lose it because your political, religious or social views are different (even if you aren't a radical, you never know what is going to rub someone the wrong way).
Mind your Brand. In this world, it is not just about your resume and your list of accomplishments. You need to treat yourself like a business. Just like a fast food restaurant strives to be clean (or at least to be perceived by the public as clean), you need to protect your identity as if everything on the Internet is part of the collective work that is your resume.
Buzz that is usually reserved for the video game industry's largest event, E3, was in overdrive at this year's Gaming Developer's Conference (GDC). Gaming startup Onlive (http://www.onlive.com) stole the show with its announcement (and inpressive demonstration) of it's cloud enabled gaming subscription service. In brief, instead of using a gaming console (XBox 360, PS3, Wii) or PC to process the enormous amount of data necessary for today's games, Onlive would leave the heavy lifting to its network of computers. Your only requirement to play? A subscription, a speedy internet connection, and a controller (a modem-sized box will also be available if you plan on playing it on your TV). As you traverse the system menus or are playing a game, your controller movements are uploaded to virtual machines and your thumb gyrations are processed. "Pictures" of your game are then sent back at 60 frames per second with no latency. Incredible? Yes! Impossible? Maybe?
I've read up on the requirements of such a service. The hardware required would be massive. The compression software, ground-breaking. Yet if it can be done, the technology will not only rattle the cages of console makers Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo. It will also be a game changer for HP, Dell and Apple.
Imagine a day in the not-so distant future when the desktop computer will consist of nothing more than a keyboard, mouse and a display. Your CPU will be "in the cloud". Your files? The same. And imagine what it does for software as a service. Need Photoshop? Run it. Want to switch operating systems? Just a quick configuration change. All of your data, configuration and personalization settings are ready and waiting whenever you need it. Just login and go.
Pricing models for software could be diverse; pay-to-play, monthly subscriptions, or outright purchases are all possible ways of monetizing the model. And of course, an overall user fee or monthly subscription for CPU access and storage.
I'll leave it to the software engineers to debate the compression algorithms and computing power needed to make Onlive a reality, but one thing is obvious. A new era of computing and gaming is right around the corner, and my iMac is a little nervous.
In my "younger days" I used to say that if you didn't know what you wanted to do in life, you got a degree in Communications or Marketing. At the time I was a young, cocky web developer with the world at my fingertips. It wasn't until I got my hands into marketing/advertising that I realized the power (and the extremely broad use) of the "M" word.
At a dotcom in the early 2000's, I considered myself a complete technology guy (my title of CTO even screamed "I'm technology, hear me roar"). I thought Marketeers were Mouseketeers. To me, the marketing department set up ice cream socials and sent out the yearly company branded coffee cup. Yet I had always been consumed by advertising and secretly had a desire to try my hand at it.
After the dotcom I helped create imploded, I moved to a company that needed both my technology and creative skills (since I had been collaborating with the Marketing Director of my last company and secretly enjoyed every moment; I had some marketing chops, I just didn't want to admit I was one of "them"). After nine months, the call came down from the CEO; I was now the Director of Marketing, and the fast growing department that had until that point, been unnamed, was now the marketing department.
I kicked. "Why can't we be the New Media department?". I screamed. "I am *not* a Marketing person like the long list of undecided college grads that I so despised. They were not like me. I was results oriented, they were warm and fluffy. I embraced technology, they needed more branded coffee cups.
And almost like that, I ended up deeply entrenched in International Advertising and Marketing. This blog is mostly self-serving - a way to get my thoughts about everything from alternative energy, to architecture and technology. And like most posts in the blogosphere, it will probably fall upon deaf ears, except for the occasional visit from Slurp or Googlebot.
Marketing is not a dirty word, or a career for the undecided. It is a beautiful collision of business execution and art; product exceeding hype and hype exceeding business expectations. It is where my brain roams and it can be wonderful and frustrating all at the same time. Welcome to my brain. :)